ask //

seacilpunk:

seacilpunk:

"hey baby, let’s 69" 

"ok cool do u want me to be the 6 or the 9" 

"i wanna be the 9 this time"

"BUT YOU ALWAYS GET TO BE THE 9."


(Source: kevinisgod)


overblood:

long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day

(Source: flapwagon)


at the resturant with bae
  • waitress: *fills his glass with ice water*
  • me: *watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
  • me: you want my man or something?
  • her: wh-wat?
  • me: i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
  • me: I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
  • me: everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
  • him: aye calm down
  • me: nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy


blindbeards0llux:

no mom im not a “shrek fan” im a brogre


slimydad:

I can not stop watching this

this video has disrupted my entire day

(Source: rock-n-pizzarolls)


endocrines2:

*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*

(Source: endocrines2014)


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